This Is A Long Goodbye

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
It sure is hard to do

I know they say if it don't come back again
Then it's meant to be
Those words don't pull me through
'Cause I'm still in love with you

I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me goin' through the mill
Climbin' up a hill

This is the long goodbye, somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breakin' a heart
No matter how hard I try, I always make you cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happenin' here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance
But I know without a doubt
We turned it inside out

And if we walked away
Would it make more sense
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try

How long must we keep running on a carousel
Goin' round and round and never gettin' anywhere
On a wing and prayer

This is the long goodbye, somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breakin' a heart
No matter how hard I try, I always make you cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happenin' here is a long goodbye, long goodbye

Long goodbye
Long goodbye
This is a long goodbye
This is a long goodbye
Long goodbye

It's very sad when someone whom you're once so close with, someone you appreciate so so much, is now nothing but a stranger to you.
The most familiar kind of stranger.

This post is so sad it needs no title.

Til it's gone.

People always say: "You don't know what you've got til it's gone."
But the truth is, you knew exactly what you had, you just thought you'd never lose it.
And then it's your turn to stand in the dark, as you watch things slipped out of your hand.

Feeling...

... lost.

Adulthood

I hate being a grown up.
There's no space for imagination. There's no space for silliness.
You get questioned for your motive when all you have to offer is genuine kindness.
There's no such thing as being yourself.
And there is definitely no space for mistakes.

Why is adulthood so complicated...?
My simple, naive, little mind and soul have problem coping with all these.
*Help*

P/s: Sometimes I wonder why I put in so much effort to communicate with people who doesn't even bother to talk to me. =(

Untitled...

...Just because I cannot think of a title good enough to describe how I'm feeling right now. I'm currently at LCCT airport, waiting for my 8:50pm flight to arrive. I came down to KL for training yesterday, and started feeling physically horrible since last night. And right now, I can feel my face and head burning due to fever, my head hurts, my body hurts, my joints hurt, my eyes hurt because there's a growth somewhere around my right eye that causes me to be unable to close my eyes too tightly. Plus, I just cried myself silly in the middle of the LCCT crowd, drawing pretty much attention, when Zoel called to ask me how am I feeling. I've been pretending that I'm alright in the office the whole day, or to be frank, the past few days, and I guess it's time for me to break down when someone finally, sincerely ask me "How do you feel..?"........

I just wanna go home. Please.

Clenched Teeth, Clenched fists

I wished I could say that my new year started off with a bang. But sadly, it has been a bumpy ride ever since the first day of 2013. I really wanted to tell you my story, but after thinking through twice, I don't think it's too appropriate to write out my situation here, as I don't want my readers to be judging the people around me. Or misunderstand my situation. And most importantly, I don't want to say things that I can't take back, or hurt people with my words.

Sometimes I really wonder if God truly understands. 'Cause if He does, why does He allow anyone, allow me to go through this storm and feel so helpless, discouraged, and lonely..? Sigh. 

But of course He does. I'm sure Jesus felt the same the night before He was crucified. Helpless and lonely. Of course He does understand. 

Watched 7 pounds just now in the evening, and gave myself a reason to cry. Guess all I needed was someone to talk to; someone who understands. Someone who'd just come over and give me a hug, and say: "This is just temporary. It'll all be okay." But tonight, even those whom I thought cared about me most, are just too busy for me.

I will be okay. There are others in way more difficult situations than I am. I shouldn't be complaining here. So yes. I am gonna stop feeling sorry for myself and pick up my baton and continue running.

Come what may, I'm just gonna clenched my teeth and fists, and go against this storm.
Because I know, every storm runs out of rain. 

为你好

有一天，当你长大后，你会懂的。

Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders tonight.

Can't breathe.

Out-of-Sync

There are times when my brain tells me this, but my heart tells me something else.

Just like in the projection of movie films, where the sound does not correspond to the lip movements of an actor or to any other sound source on the screen.

That's how my mind and heart is sometimes. They just don't sync. Sigh.

Are you one of them?

It makes me very sad to see how some children can ill treat their parents. And when I say ill-treat, I don't only mean extreme situations like beating our parents or not giving them food. It simply means being disobedient or not honoring them.

I was at a customer's home the other day to conduct health screening for her and her friends. BIG HOUSE. It doesn't require a 5 year old to notice that she was rich. Or her husband was rich. Either way laaa. She was a nice lady. So was the husband. :) But not so when it comes to my client's daughter. Pffffft. I entered the house and the first thing I did was to smile at the daughter. First impressions are important ma.. And you know what? All she did was stare back at me.
She literally stared at me with hate (maybe I was disturbing her and her TV).

She looked like she was 17 or 18 years of age. And while I was there for 5 hours, all she did was sit in front of the TV holding the remote control. A total of 5 hours! I mean, fine la..maybe she just finish SPM so she's enjoying some quality time with the TV. But then suddenly, she shouted at the mom,
"MOM!!! Did you know you didn't close the gate?? Close the gate!".

I was shocked. Not because of her shouting (partly laaa), but mostly because she was sitting just 3 meters away from the Auto-gate switch button, while my client was probably 20 meters away. Not to mention the way she COMMANDED her mom to close the gate.
Then around 6pm, I was still talking to my client about future appointments, the daughter shouted again,
"MOM!!! DINNER!!!".

She repeated 3 times, each time yelling louder and louder. And this is not the best part yet.
She barged into the meeting room, gave her mom that cold stare, making it obvious that she was annoyed, and said again,  
"Mom, do you know what time is it now? Where's my dinner??" The father politely answered her daughter,  
"Mommy's busy now.".
And you know what she replied her dad???
"Am I talking to you?"

I felt like walking towards her and giving her a tight slap on the face. For goodness sake, she's old enough to make her own dinner, and I'm very sure she could drive out to buy her dinner too if she's that hungry, 'cause I saw a "P" sticker on the car!!! Ughhhhh!!! Thinking about the situation as I'm typing this just makes me angry. Are you feeling what I'm feeling?? Sigh.

Are most families like this nowadays? I hope this is not a common trend in today's society, if not I'll be really, really sad and worried. :/ I've also seen how some children treat their homes like hotel. They go out in the morning, come back at night, lock the door and do their own things. They don't spend quality time with their parents, don't talk to them, they don't even have dinner with them.
Sigh. Double sighs. Triple sighs. :(

The bible clearly says,
"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.", Colossians 3:20.
Exodus 20:12, "Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."

It doesn't say, honour your parents only if they're loving towards you.; or obey your parents if you feel like it. No, it doesn't.

How many of us are treating our aged parents with love and affection? Or giving them the same kindness we're giving to our friends, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend?
Or are you one of them, who is denying your parents the attention that they deserve?
They're not gonna be around forever. Maybe not even for Christmas. Who'd know?
Think about it.