The Second Time You Fall in Love with Someone - By Ryan O'Connell

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.

The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.

The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”
The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.

I had to share this after reading this. =)
Please note that it's not written by me, but by Ryan O'Connell on the Thought Catalog website.
Click here for the original post.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-second-time-you-fall-in-love-with-someone/

If I were a boy

Interesting question ain't it..?? =)
Trust me, I've wondered that many times. I've always been very tomboyish since I was a little girl. My friends played with Barbie dolls and teapots but I was out cycling and climbing trees with other boys which I can't seem to recall their names or faces; or I'll be playing those tiny green soldiers with my brother and when things get heated up, I wrestle with my brother until either one of us starts crying or gets hurt.
Teeheehee..=) WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

So, If I were a boy, even for a week...let me try to list down 10 things I would do. =)
Please note that these are things I would do if I am a boy for a week. And I'm not gonna waste time writing all those nice, sweet things like, I won't hurt a girl, or I'll respect a girl..that'd be quite boring ey. =D
 
1. I think I'll swim naked in the sea for once. Being a girl you can't do that AT ALL!

2. I'll spike my hair!! Wanna know how myself look like in Tae Yang's haircut. =)

3. I'm gonna take a one day kick-boxing course, then go and punch the guys that once broke my best friends' hearts. I'll do this on the last day before I turn back into a girl so they won't be able to find me. Muahahahaha. =D And I'll leave a note: That's for breaking XXX's heart. LOL.

4. I'm gonna go find my brother in my male form and see if he notices any similarity, and then tell him who I really am to scare the crap out of him. ;)

5. I'm gonna rent a Ferrari, put on a super good looking suit, "Vroom vroom" across crowded areas where tons of girls are looking at me; and then go pick up the plainest looking girl in the crowd (the kind that seem to just tag along with her best friend because her best friend ask her to. And because she's so plain no other guys are even interested in her), just to teach those other girls that appearance is not everything! And then I'll tell that plain girl that someday she's gonna find someone who loves her for real and she doesn't have to try so hard just to fit in. =)

6. I'll go to those sauna or jacuzzi rooms. Tsk tsk tsk.. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? ;) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Wait..do the men go naked in there? LOL.

7. I'm gonna eat so much, burp so much, and fart whenever I want. You can't do that as a girl! =D

8. Then I'll ask my best friend out for a date (if she's single) and see what she is like when she's out with a guy..Hehehehe..=)

9. If I were a boy, I think..I think la..I'll go pick a fight and feel the adrenaline rush while avoiding being punch. =)

10. If I were a boy, I know, for sure this time, I wouldn't treat girls the way many girls are being treated today, and make this world a better place.

Please forgive my insanity while writing this. =) Just my crazy thoughts.

Abandoned blog

My blog has been so abandoned la. I keep telling myself to post something at least once a week, but end up failing to do so. Sigh. I guess Facebook is partly at fault 'cause it's so much easier to post things on Facebook as compared to writing it here. =P Sorry Blogspot! Hehe.

Well, a little update on myself then. =) I've FINALLY finish my Degree in University. Phew. Time really flies. There goes my 4 years full of fun, excitement, friends, and all sorts of ups and down. If you ask me if I would still go to Sabah if I get to choose again, I would definitely say "Yes". =)

Anyway, after a two months rest, I started applying for jobs, and I just attended two interviews in the past 3 days. =) It was okay I guess. Still waiting for them to consider. But the funny thing I have to share here is the fact that, at the age of 2x (I'm soooo not gonna reveal my age LOL), my parents still follow me to my interviews. Hahahaha.

Of course I won't bring them up to the office, but it's funny to see how they're so excited for me as I seek for my first job. =) My dad keeps telling me this before I step out of the car: "No RM3k, no talk!" LOL. Then they ask if the company is legitimate; and ask me to bring pepper spray to the interview just in case..etc etc. Hahahahahaha.

PARENTS. You won't understand them until you're one yourself. I guess. =)

Who am I inside?

It's been a while since my last post. Let me see..3 months..? Yea. 3 months.
I was going through my older posts since 2009 and some of them really made me laugh. HAHAHA. And I also realize how much I've changed within this 2 years.
And it got me thinking: What if I were to stay in Penang and not go to Sabah? What if I were to go to Russia for studies? Things would have turned out differently.

I'm thankful for all that has happened and did not happen. And I'm honestly thankful for where I am today.
But there are times when I stand in front of the mirror and wonder who is that girl staring straight back at me?
Sometimes I feel like a live in a world where I have to hide what my heart believes in.

I have a heart that needs to be free to fly. One that burns with a need to know every reason why.

Switch me off

If only feelings can be switch on and off.
Or memories can be deleted at a press of a button.

But life doesn't work that way.

可惜不是你，陪我到最后

终于明白这首歌的意义。

Not-so-wise wisdom tooth

Do you peeps remember that I had a minor surgery last year in April? To take out a cyst behind my neck? Here's the post.
And guess what, this year's April is just equally painful. =(
I underwent a minor operation surgery to take out my wisdom tooth. I called it the radical tooth. 'Cause it has caused me so much trouble. =(

[My ke lian face... =(]

 [My very kesian face...]

 [Pretty Indian lady dentist stitching up my gums. She's really good. =)]

 [BLOODY not-so-wise wisdom tooth]

 [My hands were shaking so badly that the camera couldn't capture my Peace sign. Haha.]

 [Killer tools *swallows hard*]

 [Can you see the stitches?]

I was really, really scared prior to the surgery. Especially knowing that my parents won't be by my side. My heart was pounding like crazy, and I couldn't really sleep well the night before. I thought of a thousand reasons just to chicken out. But somehow in the morning, after waking up, I prayed, and God gave me this sense of peace and calmness in me that I just bathed, changed and went for it. 

There was fear. Oh yes there was.

But there was even a stronger peace in me over calming the fear. 

I guess many times, all we need is a small prayer and a little faith in God. And He can change everything. =)

I totally recommend Luyang Hospital (Kota Kinabalu, Sabah) if you're having the same problem as I. Cheap and efficient. =) Just my opinion la. If you don't trust the government hospital, there's always those private blood sucking dental clinics. =) Hehe.

And I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends for their support, especially Jenn, Shawn and CK who were physically there with me, just to make sure I didn't pengsan, or run away. HAHA. And also to Jamie who cooked porridge for me! And my parents who constantly prayed for me. =)

Til then, take good care of your teeth so you don't have to go to the dentist so often, peeps! =)

Champions

Butterfly with stings. =)

 

 [Me & my die hard girls.]

 

[Short briefing before the match. Guess who's not paying attention. Haha! =)]

[Still find this picture funny ler. HAHA. I'm either doing a very good fake, or I miss the ball terribly. =)]

[Most Valuable Player. Not too sure if I deserve it. But thank you Nomad. =)]

For those who didn't return home with a medal, remember that each wrist/drag/slap shot you take, brings you closer to being champions. Keep fighting the good fight and dream big. Some day it will be yours.

You can't put a limit to anything. The more you dream, the further you get. 

~Michael Phelps~ Swimming Champion

Go Nomad!

 

It's Tourney 3.3 once again tomorrow.

Go Nomad Houseflies!!

Go Nomad Genesis!!

Go Nomad Butterflies!! 

=)

Nomad Gemilang, Nomad Gemilang!!!

March Madness

Dear March,
You're one of my favorite months every year not just because I was born on this month (actually it is. haha), but you never fail to make it more and more exciting for me every year. Especially this year. =)

It has been a crazeee and exciting month for me. Decisions, competitions, work loads, falling sick, horrible toothache, commitments, celebrations, loads of fun..Ahhh. And it's still not ending! Another 5 more days to go! =)

I was supposed to blog about my birthday celebration but but but..too busy ma. =) But I should at least take this opportunity to thank my awesome possum bunch of friends for making this an unforgetful birthday. =)

[Hueyyi, Zhini, Yifui, Juling and Kelyn surprised me at pass midnight with a "special" homemade chocolate cake. =) I shall not explain why it's special here. Haha.]

And Zhini compiled an birthday autograph book for me which consist of notes and birthday wishes from my coursemates. So sweet right?;)

[& pardon my sleepy look. It was already very late when they barged in. =)]

Then another group of friends gave me a surprise after lab work. Hehe. Thank you peeps. =)

I was actually very tired due to falling sick and having a very bad wisdom tooth ache..=( So my friends really did cheer me up a whole lot. =)

We went for dinner later in the evening in Sailor's restaurant. Love the atmosphere. The food was awesome. And the cheese tart ZiBin bought for me as a cake was S.U.P.E.R.Y.U.M.M.Y. =)

[Happy birthday Eeleen!]

[The girls. =)]

 [The limited edition boys in my course. =)]

Feeding people in many cultures, is a sign of appreciation. So that was what I did. I fed every single one of them. But could only post up some of the pictures here ya. =)

[Tracie]

 [Susie]

 [Super shy Kaang Cheing. Haha.]

 [& my ever annoying roomie. X)]

Thanks you people!! I really, really appreciate what you did for me..=)
*BIG hugs*

& CK got me a mini cooper model as a birthday present with my number 39 and my name signed on top of the car. Imagine if the car was real!! Woooootsss!!! =) 

[Thank you CK.....]

 [Mr. Big Lips (from Lavinia) with Mini! =)]

 [& this card came all the way from Penang!!! Thank you karyee. =) It's a Birthday Wonderland!]

There's still another pending birthday present from my coach. Will blog about it when it finally arrives. Heheheeee. =)

Let me see...what else happened this month...*Thinking thinking*
OH!!!!!!!!!!! I finally went to the dentist!!! =) ALMOST fainted in the hospital. HAHA. No la..just exaggerating. =)
The nurse told me I had to take the tooth out just because the pain keeps reoccuring. Listen carefully ya. It's the nurse who told me. Not the dentist. So they scheduled a minor operation surgery for me on the 4th of April. And I AM SO NOT CONVINCED WHY I SHOULD GO FOR IT. X[ Hmmmp!!

And I ordered my Salming Cypher-Z blade already. Wanna try something new while saving for a new stick. =) Can't wait for it to arrive!

Last but not least, I am signing up for my first marathon of 2011 very soon. The Borneo International Marathon!!! =) I'm doing a half marathon, which is 21km. Phew! Wonder if I could make it. =)

I'm not joining it to compete since it's my first time. But I want to finish it within the time limit and feel a sense of accomplishment, and receive the finisher's medal. I'm putting my faith in the Lord to finish this race. =)