By YourTango.com (with a little additional information here and there by me. Teehee.)
1. Mind your manners.
"Please", "Thank you", "Sorry", "Excuse me" are just as important when you're communicating with your partner.
These little words are often forgotten when we get too comfortable with each other. Remember, these can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him or her and don't take them for granted.
Ps: Don't fart or burp in front of your partner and think that it's okay to do so. *Annoyed face*
2. Variety is the spice of life.
Many of us are habitual beings. Like for me, I eat the same food whenever I enter a particular restaurant. Someone once told me I was the most boring and predictable person she's ever met. HAHA!
So here's the problem, studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. My advice? Try something new every once in a while. Try out a new restaurant. Visit a place you two won't usually go. Do something crazy that you two have never thought of attempting. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close.
3. The people that plays together, stays together.
Find a sport or hobby that the two of you enjoy (And NO, watching TV doesn't count. Dang.). Be it floorball, biking, rock climbing, running, doing puzzles... Find something you both enjoy doing together.
4. Fight right.
Make sure you fight over the right reasons. In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind. Use the right words and say it appropriately. Don't say things out of anger. Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.
5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
Nobody likes demands. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he or she will be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal.
Compromise is the key word. For example,
"I'll massage you if you watch next Monday's football game with me."
I'm 98% sure she'll take the deal. ;)
6. Two heads are better than one.
When you're in a relationship, it means you've made a merger. Not only in terms of joined assets but also inheriting his or her problems. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together.
7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
I personally think that couples shouldn't spend 247 together. Even when you're married. (Unless you happen to be working in the same company and in the same department laa...) This is important so that at the end of the day when you finally spend some quality time together, you get to discuss about each others' day.
Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other is important too. Doing things without your partner not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.
8. Sound it out.
In other words: Communicate! Talking out the tough subjects such as money, religion, fidelity, raising kids-will not be the most fun you've had, but it will be valuable. Many relationships fail because couples don't communicate. Keeping feelings, thoughts and anger to yourself will be like keeping a bag of potato and carrying it around with you. Sooner or later, the potatoes are gonna rot, and it's gonna smell. And there's no way you can make a nice potato salad with rotten potatoes ain't it?
9. Laughter is the best medicine.
Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws his red shirt into the washing machine and stained your RM300 white Polo-T during washing, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It's just a RM300 white Polo-T, not the end of the world. Plus, WHY DO YOU NEED TO BUY A RM300 WHITE POLO-T IN THE FIRST PLACE?!? Too much money to spend isit?!? Pfffffft.
10. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal: To be in a happy, functioning partnership, then you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance.
11. Quitters never win.
Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, holding hands when you're out, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having salad for dinner once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.
12. When the tough gets going, the tough get going...to therapy.
Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.
5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
Nobody likes demands. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he or she will be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal.
Compromise is the key word. For example,
"I'll massage you if you watch next Monday's football game with me."
I'm 98% sure she'll take the deal. ;)
6. Two heads are better than one.
When you're in a relationship, it means you've made a merger. Not only in terms of joined assets but also inheriting his or her problems. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together.
7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
I personally think that couples shouldn't spend 247 together. Even when you're married. (Unless you happen to be working in the same company and in the same department laa...) This is important so that at the end of the day when you finally spend some quality time together, you get to discuss about each others' day.
Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other is important too. Doing things without your partner not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.
8. Sound it out.
In other words: Communicate! Talking out the tough subjects such as money, religion, fidelity, raising kids-will not be the most fun you've had, but it will be valuable. Many relationships fail because couples don't communicate. Keeping feelings, thoughts and anger to yourself will be like keeping a bag of potato and carrying it around with you. Sooner or later, the potatoes are gonna rot, and it's gonna smell. And there's no way you can make a nice potato salad with rotten potatoes ain't it?
9. Laughter is the best medicine.
Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws his red shirt into the washing machine and stained your RM300 white Polo-T during washing, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It's just a RM300 white Polo-T, not the end of the world. Plus, WHY DO YOU NEED TO BUY A RM300 WHITE POLO-T IN THE FIRST PLACE?!? Too much money to spend isit?!? Pfffffft.
10. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal: To be in a happy, functioning partnership, then you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance.
11. Quitters never win.
Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, holding hands when you're out, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having salad for dinner once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.
12. When the tough gets going, the tough get going...to therapy.
Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.
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