So. Just like how there are highlights in my floorball career, there are not so great times too. And I have to say, after 3 years of Merdeka Cup National Floorball Championship, this 4th year is probably the toughest, and most emotional one. :( *Coldplay singing in the background.. "Nobody said it was easy... Nobody said it would be so harddddddd...*
Yes yes. I know you are gonna say: "You can still play for Penang what.."
True. I can.
But was it the right decision..? I'm not sure. And being unsure, I already knew the answer to the question.
Plus, I can't train with the Penang team. It's definitely not right for me to train with them once a month and crash their party during game day, and screw up their game play.
And if I play for team Penang, means I don't get to train during Sabah's state training, which also means:
NO TRAINING AT ALL.
EELEEN WILL SUCK.
AND WHAT'S THE POINT FOR TEAM PENANG TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO SUCKS.
But then again... *AGAIN Coldplay singing in the background.. "Nobody said it was easy... Nobody said it would be so harddddddd...*
Playing against my own teammates was difficult. And they are not just teammates. They are people I have helped nurtured, who have grown under my care, whom I fought together and cried together for years. The amount of tears, sweat, bruises, pain. The wins and the losses.
And suddenly, I'm playing against them. And shooting against the one girl I hold closest at heart.... Nobody understands how that feels. But I'm glad Michaela and I talked about it beforehand. I sorta prepared myself for what's coming, but I didn't expect it to be so hard.
But as always, God is good. He is good. When there is brokenness, there is healing.
I broke down and cried after the game against Penang. But at the same time, I knew something in me changed. And I can say, my bond with babygirl and the girls has gotten stronger. At the same time, I've let go certain anger, doubt, jealousy and burden that I was carrying on my shoulder for 9 months.
And it was also clear, that playing for Sabah was the right thing to do.
To be able to lead the Sabah girls to their first ever win (against KL, 6-5), and to be the one to score the winning goal 1 minute 48 seconds before the final whistle, I knew God wasn't joking when He placed me here. And I was serious when I said it was Sabah ladies' first ever win. They have never won any games as a state team. When we went to Singapore for friendlies, it was 0-15, 2-8, 2-10, 3-12 etc. -.-"
[Sabah Ladies' first win against KL]
[That moment of loneliness when you don't feel like celebrating, and at the same time, the people who are supposed to understand were mad at you..]
But I know, that tribulation and difficult time produces perseverance, and perseverance develops strength of character, and character produces hope. :)
I will have faith. :)
And before I end, an eye candy for you people. My girl. HEHEHE. :3
[Pei Yi: Mick! Secretly pass the ball to me! Faster! Referee cannot see!]