I Wanna Go Home

"I wanna go home."
"You are home," she said. :)

Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In either Paris or Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
And let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home 

- Michael Buble, Home

Love,

Merdeka Cup 2015 (Floorball & Me, Part 2)

For every high, there is a low.
So. Just like how there are highlights in my floorball career, there are not so great times too. And I have to say, after 3 years of Merdeka Cup National Floorball Championship, this 4th year is probably the toughest, and most emotional one. :( *Coldplay singing in the background.. "Nobody said it was easy... Nobody said it would be so harddddddd...*

As some of you may know already, moving to Kota Kinabalu means having to play for Team Sabah.
Yes yes. I know you are gonna say: "You can still play for Penang what.."
True. I can.
But was it the right decision..? I'm not sure. And being unsure, I already knew the answer to the question.
Plus, I can't train with the Penang team. It's definitely not right for me to train with them once a month and crash their party during game day, and screw up their game play.
And if I play for team Penang, means I don't get to train during Sabah's state training, which also means:
NO TRAINING AT ALL.
EELEEN WILL SUCK.
AND WHAT'S THE POINT FOR TEAM PENANG TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO SUCKS.

So no matter how I try to deny, I knew what decision I have to make. Not because I want to. But because I know it's the right thing to do. Simple as that.
But then again... *AGAIN Coldplay singing in the background.. "Nobody said it was easy... Nobody said it would be so harddddddd...*

Playing against my own teammates was difficult. And they are not just teammates. They are people I have helped nurtured, who have grown under my care, whom I fought together and cried together for years. The amount of tears, sweat, bruises, pain. The wins and the losses.
And suddenly, I'm playing against them. And shooting against the one girl I hold closest at heart.... Nobody understands how that feels. But I'm glad Michaela and I talked about it beforehand. I sorta prepared myself for what's coming, but I didn't expect it to be so hard.

But as always, God is good. He is good. When there is brokenness, there is healing.
I broke down and cried after the game against Penang. But at the same time, I knew something in me changed. And I can say, my bond with babygirl and the girls has gotten stronger. At the same time, I've let go certain anger, doubt, jealousy and burden that I was carrying on my shoulder for 9 months.
And it was also clear, that playing for Sabah was the right thing to do.

To be able to lead the Sabah girls to their first ever win (against KL, 6-5), and to be the one to score the winning goal 1 minute 48 seconds before the final whistle, I knew God wasn't joking when He placed me here. And I was serious when I said it was Sabah ladies' first ever win. They have never won any games as a state team. When we went to Singapore for friendlies, it was 0-15, 2-8, 2-10, 3-12 etc. -.-"

[Sabah Ladies' first win against KL]

[The irony]

[That moment of loneliness when you don't feel like celebrating, and at the same time, the people who are supposed to understand were mad at you..]

But I know, that tribulation and difficult time produces perseverance, and perseverance develops strength of character, and character produces hope. :)
I will have faith. :)
And before I end, an eye candy for you people. My girl. HEHEHE. :3

[Pei Yi: Mick! Secretly pass the ball to me! Faster! Referee cannot see!]

HAHAHA.

Love,

Floorball & Me (Part 1)

2015 has been an interesting yet challenging year for me and my floorball career. One of the highlights is to have played in the multi-sports event 28th South East Asia Games.

Floorball made it's debut as a medal contending sports for the first time in the recent 28th SEA Games!! With Singapore being the host country. Abo then. *Smirks*
Back in 2013, Floorball was just a demonstration sports during the 27th SEA Games in Myanmar. And I can't be more thankful because I've been given the chance to be a part of the Malaysia Women's Floorball Team for both years. :)

 [Malaysia Women's Floorball Team Year 2015]

[Aainaa, Yen Yen, Dorcus, Nila, Eeleen & Michaela]

[Meet a good friend of ours - May! Always so supportive and helpful. :) ]

There were bitter sweet memories of course. Bitter because, despite being in 3rd place, the ladies team didn't get any medals. Sweet because we fought really hard together as a team. And my Babygirl was there with me, as my keeper. :) It was a humbling experience. I wasn't really sad that we didn't get into finals, because to be very frank, Thailand deserved it. :) No doubt it was hard for the Malaysian team to train together more often due to lack of funding and also geographical issues, but looking at how much effort and hardwork Thailand put in, they totally deserve to be in the finals.
And to see so many of my girls in the current Malaysia Women's Team, I am honestly very proud and happy. :) I just wish I could have done more for some of them whom I think, deserve to be in the team too. Perhaps someday, when I coach the Malaysia Women's Floorball Team. :p
Someday.

[So proud of this girl. :) Ling Ling & I]

 

 [My Chinese School Friend Shan Ling :P]

 

[The Malaysian Floorball Contingent]

Last but not least, thank you, Babygirl. :) For constantly supporting me and telling me that I can; for praying for me and also for shouting at me on court to run faster. HAHAHA. And I pray that you will have a bright future in floorball ahead of you. I may not always be there for you as a teammate (getting old, may retire soon), but know that I will always be your #1 fan. :) Loves.

Love,

Big Girls Don't Cry

It's been so long I don't even know where to start. Lol.
I remember I started blogging back in 2009 when I was studying in KK, Sabah. On 22nd of March 2009, I wrote my first blog post. And here I am again, back in KK after 6 years.
It's crazy how life will never turn out to be how you planned it. No matter how detailed your planning is, life will always take you a different journey.

It may not be how I want it to be, but I know God knows best. And I just need to walk in faith. :) I miss home though. I miss my baby girl. I miss the girls whom I trained floorball with. I miss the smell of my mom's facial wash. And perhaps my brother's fart too. Heh. But I need to be strong now. I need to be a big girl. And big girls don't cry.

Love,

Happy Bithday, Dad. =)

To the one man who stood by me through thick and thin;
Who loved me when I was at my worse;
Who encouraged me to stand up every time I fall;
Who quietly clears up my mess and never complaints;
Who is always proud of me but never mentions a word about it...
Daddy, you couldn't have loved me any better.
Happy Birthday. =)

My dad has this crazy love for cream and steamboat, so Weijin and I bought him the Black Forest cake from Secret Recipe, and also to Seoul Garden for lunch the next day (upon his request). :) My dad is a happy man when his tummy remains round.

[Dee, Mee & Black Forest. Lol.]

[Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the darkest and shortest of 'em all?

EELEEN.]

[Again. Dee, Mee & Seoul Garden. Hahaha!]

Sorry. The pictures look so nice I just have to post it up. Hehehe.

  

[The pain in the ass and the crazy girl with the crazy hair. :)]

"树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不在..."
A very good reminder. :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDYYY!!!

Love,

Should She Stay Or Should She Go

I was driving to work this morning, and as usual I switched on the radio to listen to Mix FM. And they always have this program known as "Should I Stay Or Should I Go". Basically, if you have a dilemma about whether you should stay or move on in a situation, you can just call up and talk to JD and Dilly and they'll try to get you advices from the audiences.

So today, this lady called up and mentioned her situation, that she's been separated from her husband for a year. And within that year, she met this new guy. At first it was just a fling, and after that, it got serious. And when she thought it's time to move on, the husband came back and said he wants to work things out. So now she's kinda stuck in between, deciding whether to try to work things out with the husband or just move on with the new guy.

What surprises me was this, out of 10 audiences who called to give their point of view, 10 asked her to move on. I mean, logically, yes, you should move on if you're not happy in a relationship...but my question is this: 

Does anyone still respect and understand the meaning of marriage? What happened to marriage covenants? What happened to "Til death do us part"?

I guess many of us would try to tell ourselves that we all have the rights to be happy.. and I don't deny the truth about it. Who doesn't want to be happy right? But marriage is not a game. It's not something you give up easily just because you're unhappy about it.  

Ask any married couple, are their relationship always smooth sailing? Is it always easy? I'm sure each and every one of them would give you a 100% "No" for an answer.

To the lady who called in this morning, if you're reading this, my advice may be slightly different from the rest of the audience. To be honest, if you were not married, I would say, MOVE ON!! But in your case, try to work things out. You married him for a reason, find back that reason and give yourself another chance to fall in love again. Good things don't come easily, it may be hard, but it'll be worth it someday. I'm not saying that it'll work out for sure, but at least you try. And you'll never regret when you've tried your best.

All the best. :)

12 Easy Tips for A Blissful Relationship

By YourTango.com (with a little additional information here and there by me. Teehee.)

1. Mind your manners.

"Please", "Thank you", "Sorry", "Excuse me" are just as important when you're communicating with your partner.

These little words are often forgotten when we get too comfortable with each other. Remember, these can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him or her and don't take them for granted.

Ps: Don't fart or burp in front of your partner and think that it's okay to do so. *Annoyed face* 

2. Variety is the spice of life.

Many of us are habitual beings. Like for me, I eat the same food whenever I enter a particular restaurant. Someone once told me I was the most boring and predictable person she's ever met. HAHA!

So here's the problem, studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. My advice? Try something new every once in a while. Try out a new restaurant. Visit a place you two won't usually go. Do something crazy that you two have never thought of attempting. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close. 

3. The people that plays together, stays together.

Find a sport or hobby that the two of you enjoy (And NO, watching TV doesn't count. Dang.). Be it floorball, biking, rock climbing, running, doing puzzles... Find something you both enjoy doing together.

4. Fight right.

Make sure you fight over the right reasons. In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind. Use the right words and say it appropriately. Don't say things out of anger. Don't call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry.

5. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.
Nobody likes demands. If you want your lover to do something and you're not sure he or she will be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal.
Compromise is the key word. For example,
"I'll massage you if you watch next Monday's football game with me."
I'm 98% sure she'll take the deal. ;)

6. Two heads are better than one.
When you're in a relationship, it means you've made a merger. Not only in terms of joined assets but also inheriting his or her problems. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together.

7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
I personally think that couples shouldn't spend 247 together. Even when you're married. (Unless you happen to be working in the same company and in the same department laa...) This is important so that at the end of the day when you finally spend some quality time together, you get to discuss about each others' day.
Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other is important too. Doing things without your partner not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll still have your friends.

8. Sound it out.
In other words: Communicate! Talking out the tough subjects such as money, religion, fidelity, raising kids-will not be the most fun you've had, but it will be valuable. Many relationships fail because couples don't communicate. Keeping feelings, thoughts and anger to yourself will be like keeping a bag of potato and carrying it around with you. Sooner or later, the potatoes are gonna rot, and it's gonna smell. And there's no way you can make a nice potato salad with rotten potatoes ain't it?

9. Laughter is the best medicine.
Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws his red shirt into the washing machine and stained your RM300 white Polo-T during washing, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It's just a RM300 white Polo-T, not the end of the world. Plus, WHY DO YOU NEED TO BUY A RM300 WHITE POLO-T IN THE FIRST PLACE?!? Too much money to spend isit?!? Pfffffft.

10. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal: To be in a happy, functioning partnership, then you're less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance.

11. Quitters never win.
Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, holding hands when you're out, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having salad for dinner once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.

12. When the tough gets going, the tough get going...to therapy.
Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don't. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.

Will You Marry Me?

This video made me cry in the office. :')
Love is a beautiful yet crazy thing.

The Second Time You Fall in Love with Someone - By Ryan O'Connell

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.

The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.

The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”
The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.

I had to share this after reading this. =)
Please note that it's not written by me, but by Ryan O'Connell on the Thought Catalog website.
Click here for the original post.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-second-time-you-fall-in-love-with-someone/

Lend me your ears

[1] There's something I wanna say to you. Read it at [5].
[2] Still couldn't guess what I wanted to tell you? Just go to [9] to find out.
[3] Read [7] if you really, really wanna know what is it.
[4] I know you're losing your patience but if I mean something to you, read [6].
[5] But first you gotta read number [11].
[6] Thanks for letting me know that I'm important in your life, try reading [10].
[7] Go to [12]. It's written there.
[8] I'm sorry but please be a little patient? You're almost there. It's at [3].
[9] It was supposed to be written here. Hmmm. Try [4] instead. I'm very sure it's there.
[10] I love you darling. That's what I wanted to tell you all these while.
[11] I know..I know..you're so impatient to know what it is right? Haha. Read [8].
[12] This is not what I wanted to tell you, it's at [2].

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine. =)

Christmas is just a month away and we've already started singing Christmas carol in church last Sunday! =) Ahhhh. How I love Christmas. But many times, how many of us really remember the true meaning of Christmas?

I remember performing this song when I was a little girl. A song taught by my late music teacher. I really regretted not visiting her when I was back in Penang for my internship and now that she's gone.. but I'll always remember this song:

Christmas is the time
Christmas is the time
Christmas is the time to love

Christmas is the time
Christmas is the time
Christmas is the time to love

We often start to worry, & people get upset
If things don't go all right on Christmas Day
But what we should remember
In all the push and shove
Christmas is the time to love

Maybe things don't sound right
Or look the way they should
And maybe they're not perfectly in tune
It really doesn't matter
Let's keep our eyes above
For Christmas is a time to love =)

If you were to give Jesus a gift this Christmas, what would it be?
I wonder. =)

初恋红豆冰

..Will remind you of the first time you really, really fell in love. Especially if your first love didn't work out. Like mine. But oh well..
It was not bad la.. for a local production movie. =)
The beginning was abit slow but it got better and really touching towards the end. I was really looking forward to Fish Leong's acting.. manatau.. the only line she had was "Eh!!!" -.-"
She's still funny though. Her name's barli peng in the movie. Hahahaha. 'Cause she drinks barli peng all the time. XD

[I should have kept my guli's instead of giving it all away to my cousins. =/ I wonder if kids nowadays know what a guli is.]

I don't mean to scare you, but everybody has a first time. =)
And Love will keep you up all night.

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

by E. E. Cummings

Would you still let me carry your heart?

Always be my baby

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Not you wanna be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
'Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that, you'll be right back
Ooh Baby believe me it's only a matter of time

Lyrics adapted from lyricsreg.com (David Cook version)

*I miss you baby*

Heartbeat

Girl lies on Boy's chest. Listening to his heartbeat.

Girl: Sayang, why your heartbeat so fast ha?
Boy (Jokingly said): 'Cause you're too heavy and I cannot breathe la.
(When the truth is because his heart beats for her.)
And they both laughed.
Girl: Will you still love me when you wake up tomorrow?
Boy: Yes, sweetheart. Even when you're no longer here, even if you have to fly away.

And he's keeping his promise.

Life After You

Ten miles from town and I just broke down

Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just trying to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know

Believe me I won't stop at nothing
To see you so I've started running

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time

Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after
'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a boy with sight could be so blind
Thinking about the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm running back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do...

New year, new start

I've been wanting to post this up for ages but whenever I finish writing the first sentence, I just delete the whole post.
My 2009 didn't end too well, neither did I start my year 2010 awesome-ly.
But I made decisions. Decisions I never knew I could make. It was heart-breaking but I know when I look back 5 years from now, I will not regret it. I did it for God. I did it for us.

Life's like a race. I didn't start my race for 2010 too well. But it's not about how you start your race, but how you run it, and most important of all...how you end it. =)
I know, believe and trust God for a great year ahead.
I'm not getting any younger as years goes by, and I definitely can feel the responsibilities and commitments on my shoulders duplicating.

But hey...it's just part of growing up. =) Of course I miss the times when I was still schooling. Let me list down a few things I did in school which I was "proud" of:

1. One of my teacher threw a piece of chalk at me and my best friend and my friend caught it. She walked up to the front and gave it back to her. It was a duster after that. X)
2. Was punished to stand at the corridor when I was in Form 5 with all the juniors looking. And I was waving happily to them! XP
3. I have a special seat in chemistry lab which is next to the teacher right in front, facing the whole class. Imagine that. Hahahahahaha!
4. I climbed up to the roof of the school to take a picture. -.-"

No. My results weren't sucky. I was pretty bright. Pretty only ha. =) And I excelled in sports, music, and everything else. But I didn't forget to have fun. I never regretted like some of my book-worm-friends, who studied so much and "neglected" fun. But of course their results were so much better than mine la. Hahahahaha. =)

Decisions I made yesterday has brought me to where I am today. Yes, I do regret some but there's nothing I can do to change things. But my Creator's grace is always sufficient for me.
And thank you Mom and Dad. For always being there for me like a parent, like a friend. And to all of you who've left something in my heart, I'll always remember. Even if you just walked past. =)

I am where I am today because of yesterday. I wouldn't change anything even if I were to start all over again.
Maybe a little la. Hehe.

He never fails to makes me smile

I miss you too daddy.
And I'll be home very soon.
Love you daddy. =)

Sometimes...

...heartbreaks happen.

爱情

爱情是一种需要，

但不一定要得到...